Why?

It seemed such a good idea at the time. But now that I'm actually about to commence actual studies in the seemingly little free time I actually have, I'm actually freaking out.

Okay, so I overused the word 'actually', but the point is clear. I'm starting to wonder what I've let myself in for.

It has been many, many years since I undertook serious study. I've taken professional development, of course. Some of it was even good. But every teacher undertakes professional development, but it's not like real study. I've undertaken a few short courses in subjects connected with my hobbies, but they don't really count. They're not particularly academic, and there was no real assessment.

As I said, I'm starting to freak out.

Due to work commitments, I won't be able to spend any real time with my studies until the weekend of week two, which means I'll have two weeks of work to catch up on. And as I don't want to feel overwhelmed I have decided not to log in and see what awaits me prior to then. As such I'm now feeling nervous and even a little scared.

Catch 22. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

In the meantime I have shopped during my lunch breaks, ensuring I have the pens, highlighters, notebooks and folders I require. Or at least desire. Even if I'm not a great student, I will look like one.